WHAT IS TRAUMA BONDING?
The emotional attachment that happens when we’re in a toxic or abusive relationship that makes it hard to leave, despite us knowing this dynamic is bad for us.
This trauma bond develops out of a repeated cycle of abuse and positive reinforcement. The abuse can be physical or psychological.
This is a dynamic relationship that is dependent on an imbalance of power. The cycles of mistreatment and kindness is what keeps us from leaving.
Generally speaking, it is easier to leave a relationship where the person only mistreats us. The cycles of love keeps us hooked and overshadows the fear of more abuse.
WHY DO WE DO IT?
It’s familiar to us. If we grew up surrounded by chaotic and abusive relationships, we create this idea in our minds that relationships are supposed to be that way.
We’re repeating toxic cycles from the past.
We feel drawn to similar relationships in adulthood since the brain already recognizes the highs and lows of the cycle.
Repeating the cycles from our childhood can unconsciously be a form of healing.
A part of us is trying to fix the cycles from the past by trying to create a better ending.
HOW DO WE DO BREAK THE CYCLE?
Leaving is the obvious answer, however, doing so on our own can be extremely hard.
The addiction to the highs and lows can definitely make it hard to leave on our own, so getting help from a professional can really help us better understand the patterns that keeps us stuck in abusive relationships.
After leaving the abusive relationship, healing is the next step.
Healing from the relationship itself, as well as the patterns and/or trauma that keeps us in these loops.
Healing the past so it doesn’t become your future.
That means doing the somatic work, going to therapy, journaling etc. What we shouldn’t do : no shaming yourself. You don’t need to add guilt to the mix of an emotionally heavy situation
BREAKING EMOTIONAL PATTERNS
Emotional patterns are the emotions, thoughts, behaviors and actions we commonly refer to in our day to day lives and when we’re triggered by a situation.
Breaking your emotional patterns allows you to finally break the cycles of trauma. It allows you to repair your relationship with your emotions.
Repairing your relationship with your emotions, allows to release your patterns of anger, sadness, bitterness, and resentment.
Until you face (feel) those emotions head on they will keep getting LOUDER until life FORCES you to truly deal with them.
I give you the blueprint in Healing is Found in the Emotions : A Guide to Breaking Emotional Patterns.
Healing is found in the emotions
- Jeannah